it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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