If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
