i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
