I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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