I wish I could punch you in the face.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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