I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
