So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
