Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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