dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Operation Purity has been aborted
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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