When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
