I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize