my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
