I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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