Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
