If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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