Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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