I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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