it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
