i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Damn victory sex feels great
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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