I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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