i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
These tits shall not be calmed
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
