On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
How external is "for external use only"?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
