Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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