Need sex. Gaining weight.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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