According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
