Are we in a gay sports bar?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
