dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
