doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
