You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
