And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
