His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize