Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
my poor anus
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
