Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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