Tell her she can't have a vagina
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
