k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
