Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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