I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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