you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It's rum buckets o'clock
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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