I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
