I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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