is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Randomize
