They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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