Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
