your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
