I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
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