If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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