SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
