Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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