I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Acid is not a monday night drug
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Randomize
