i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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