Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize