you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
