Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
