He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
