"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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