When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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