Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
