I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
it's great music for shaving your balls
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
