she looked like the before picture.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
