I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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