I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
