I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
