it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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