Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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