We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
