why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
