is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
50% drunk capacity currently
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
