You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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