The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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